Supernaturalearth.myfreeforum.org

frenchlass · Joined: 13 Nov 2006 Posts: 20 Location: france

Questions You Can Never Answer

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

now Stop singing and read on.......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

WHATS THE ONE QUESTION YOU CANT ANSWER YES TO?..........ARE YOU ASLEEP YET

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Why is dyslexia such a hard word to spell?

Why does phonetic start with ph?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

Why do "fat chance" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why do "tug boats push their barges?

Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

Why do they call it a tv set when you only have one?

If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

a duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why!

ozzykim · Joined: 21 Nov 2006 Posts: 9 Location: downunder ;-OZ

A Few More Things To Ponder About...
1. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide is that considered a hostage situation?

2. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

3. Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.

4. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

5. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

6. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

7. I went for a walk last night, and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."

8. So what's the speed of dark?

9. War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.

10. After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

11. Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

12. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

13. I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.

14. Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

15. Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

16. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

17. If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

19. Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

20. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

21. Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

22. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

23. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

24. Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is weak?

25. Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

26. Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

27. Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

28. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

29. If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

30. If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

31. What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

32. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

33. Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

34. When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!

35. Do fish get cramps after eating?

36. Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

37. Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

38. Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

39. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

40. When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

41. Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?

42. Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

43. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a chair at him?

44. If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?

45. Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

46. Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

47. Do married people live longer than single people, or does it just SEEM longer?

48. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

49. Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?

50. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

51. What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
_________________

Helena · Joined: 28 Dec 2006 Posts: 75 Location: yorkshire, UK

Have You Ever Wondered If...
1. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

2. How is it possible to have a civil war?

3. If God dropped acid, would he see people?

4. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

5. If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

6. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

7. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

8. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

9. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

10. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole damn airplane made out of that stuff?

11. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

12. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

13. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

14. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

15. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

16. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

17. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

18. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

19. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

20. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

21. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

22. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

23. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

24. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

25. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

26. Can vegans eat animal crackers?

27. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

28. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

29. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

30. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people

Helena · Joined: 28 Dec 2006 Posts: 75 Location: yorkshire, UK

Just A Few Things You Probably Didn't Know

You spend about 3 years of your life in the toilet.

Every day, the average person swallows about a quart of snot.

The slowest growing finger nail is on the thumb nail and the fastest growing is the finger nail on the middle finger.

Scientists say that babies that are breastfed are more likely to be slimmer as adults than those that are not breastfed.

There are more chickens in the world than people.

Pinocchio was made of pine.

One out of 20 people have an extra rib.

Manicuring the nails has been done by people for more than 4,000 years.

People whose mouth has a narrow roof are more likely to snore. This is because they have less oxygen going through their nose.

Helena · Joined: 28 Dec 2006 Posts: 75 Location: yorkshire, UK

14 Reasons To Allow Drinking On The Job
1. It's an incentive to show up.

2. It reduces stress.

3. It leads to more honest communications.

4. It reduces complaints about low pay.

5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.

6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.

7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

8. It encourages carpooling.

9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.

10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

11. It makes fellow employees look better.

12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they have had a couple of drinks.

14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.